"Grab Somebody Sexyyy, Tell Them Hey"

Yesterday, I could go for a walk outside in a t-shirt. Today, it was snowing. Curse this tricky bipolar weather!! All it really does is make me anxious for summer, which makes me nostalgic of last summer. The theme of last summer? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPo5wWmKEaI I love that song.

So, browsing good ol' YouTube for that song, I went a lot of places, listened to a lot of songs, and eventually ended at Ke$ha's new album. If you know anything about me, you ought to know I am basically in love with her. I even go out and buy her cd's. She's so fierce. And she reminds me of spending the summer partying with my sister. I even did a "Ke$ha photoshoot" one day with all my older sisters, and I dressed up as her for Halloween...

Fabulous I know. My roommate also dressed as her, because she loves Ke$ha as much as me. That's just fate.

Now, this next bit may seem unrelated, but it ties in. I think. That being said, I have millions of things running through my head lately, and I've realized, I think I'm kind of a hopeless romantic. That in and of itself is a long story, but in short, sometimes I have these...irrational(?) crushes, and it kind of takes over my thoughts. Which is crazy because I have a super short attention span for basically everything, and am never really in the same place or interested in the same things for long. But either way, every once in a while, there comes along someone that sticks in my head and my heart for a long time, and I can't seem to shake them, because in all reality, that's not something I should be pursuing for various reasons. They even make appearances in my dreams from time to time. And there's just really nothing I can do about it, but wait for enough time to pass to let them become just another faint memory. I'm not really one to tell people how I'm feeling when it comes to matters of the heart, because I'm a big weenie. I let opportunites and people pass me by, because breaking down that wall is too hard, and I don't handle rejection well. But I do realize that we need to fall for people, and our hearts need to be broken, because that's how we get back up, and become stronger. And, despite my best efforts, I have had my heart broken, but I don't regret it, because I learned something, and I was changed. But, while I work on that, and try to be more open, I'll keep writing blogs, (they really are theraputic,) letting my mind run a mile a minute about people that I can't seem to block out, and listen to Ke$ha. This song in particular has been playing as the theme to this blog: http://youtu.be/_u29qK84uvI (and yes I realize the video is girly and lame, and the song is slightly sappy, but I don't care. Ke$ha is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Besides Jesus.)

"All the Other Kids With the Pumped Up Kicks"

Today, I'm feeling a little senimental, a little nostalgic. Finally, after years and years, I must retire my tennis shoes...

Beauties huh? I wore these babies for P.E./Yoga all through middle and high school. I also used them when I built sets during the plays I was in, (hence the paint) and running outside during the summers. And now, I use them every day to work out and run here in Utah. Of course, I don't know which is more sad, the fact that in close to 8 years, I didn't wear out a single pair of tennis shoes, or the fact that I've had the same size teeny, tiny, baby feet since I was 12. Good makin' Reebok. Unfortunately, I have the worst shin splints of all time, which really throws off my running schedule, so I had to finally break down and buy a new pair yesterday. Or, my parents were kind enough to buy them for me...

I'm pretty much stoked on them. They were the prettiest ones I could find...this is why I don't wear tennis shoes unless I have to. But, I'm thankful for new shoes and I'm pumped to try out my new kicks. Hopefully, these will get me through another 8 years! I really wish I could make heels last that long...

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Now, my shoes were cute and all, but the real reason I'm feeling all sentimental, is that I can finally tell everyone that my brother Clayton and his wife Malae are going to have a baby!!!! I finally get to be an aunt!! I am so excited for this I can't even handle it. I love babies. In fact, through all of Stake Conference today, I was making faces at the most adorable little girl with the fattest cheeks, making her giggle and drool. So. Cute. Clayton and Malae are going to be such wonderful parents. Having him as my big brother, and watching him with all of my many siblings, and the fact that he loves working with kids, which in fact is his job now, I know he's going to be such a great father. (Even if it is super weird to think about the fact that now we're all grown up to the age that he is starting his own family, and the fact that my littlest sister will be an aunt, especially when I'm pretty convinced she's slightly insane and may or may not one day have a psychotic break.) Also, Malae has the biggest, most tender heart of anyone I've ever met. She loves all things cute and fluffy, and is incredibly endearing and caring. Her children will be lucky to be blessed into a home with such an amazing mother. Words cannot even describe how happy I am for them. They will do so wonderful. I can't wait to meet little ginger baby!! Also, I sincerely hope all of their children have red, curly hair and fat cheeks. I will show them all that South Park as well as the angry kid on YouTube who got super offended by it. Haha

BABY TALLEY IS THE SIZE OF A LIME!

"I Love Love!" (for real this time)

So, in light of Valentine's Day, I am inspired to actually write the post I started a couple weeks ago. Now I have church every Sunday morning at 9 am, which proves to be very difficult sometimes, because I like staying out late on Saturday nights as much as the next girl. Actually, probably more. As a result, there are many mornings that going to church is hard, and paying attention is even harder, and sometimes, to keep myself awake, I draw pictures....

But, I have found that on days that I am actually awake and really praying to be touched by the Spirit, I have the most amazing lessons. A couple weeks ago, it was Fast and Testimony meeting, which is always my favorite. Pretty much half my ward gets up and bears beautiful testimonies about our Heavenly Father and his love for each and every one of us, and the point that stood out the most the day was when someone said "when we try our best, God will pick up the slack." I then went to Sunday school and learned some good points about happiness, how we all have the capability to choose the good, to choose to be happy, and how God will never set us up to fail, so put your trust in him. The church is so true!

Afterwards, I head to Relief Society, and we had this incredible lesson about love. Not necessarily the "I love you let's get married and have babies" kind of love, but the kind that we ought to have for everyone.

Over the course of the lesson, points were made about reserving our judgements about people until we get to know them, because that leaves room for love to grow, and towards the end, my bishop stands and says "why do we love Christ? Because he loves us first." This got me to thinking, how many of us hold back on loving people, because we don't know them or we think they don't deserve it, or we think they don't love us back? The fact of the matter is, everyone not only deserves love, but we all require it. As human beings, we have to have love, tenderness, affection, or we won't make it. Like a newborn baby will die if it isn't immediately and constantly in contact with another human's touch, I think we also will wither away and stop living if we aren't loved. God doesn't make mistakes. He has never made a single person that he hasn't loved, and expected others to love as well. It's not our duty to pick and try to discern who is entitled to it, but rather to give that love freely and without limitations, because don't we want that in return? "We love Christ because he loves us first"--Jesus didn't wait for us to prove ourselves, to see if we were worthy of his love, he just gave it to us. Who are we to hold back? You can't choose who to love, because everyone deserves it. And what a difference that would make in our lives, in society, in the world, if we loved without hesitation. That being said, how can we expect to be loved if we don't? So love without fear, live without regret, and realize that everyone is fighting a hard battle--we all just need a little tender loving care.

"To Live Will be an Awfully Big Adventure"

Last week, I received a call from a girl in the ILP (International Language Program.) She told me someone had given her my name and number and told her I'd be interested. Now, usually, I just say something sarcastic to these kinds of callers and hang up, but I've actually looked a lot into going abroad and teaching kids English. Also, this girl turned out to be a girl from home that was my cousin's trek sister. Small world right? Anyways, I chatted with this girl for a while, finding out all about the program, whatever I didn't already read about on the website, and got really excited. I feel like this is something I really want to do.

I love kids. I always have. I grew up in a family of 10 kids, I have been a Sunbeam teacher, and I worked as a substitute teacher right after I got out of high school. As a sub, I worked with kids anywhere from kindergarten, to 8th grade, and with the exception of 6th graders, I loved and got along with all of them. I also plan on having a very plentiful posterity. Haha just kidding. But seriously.

Also, I want to see the world. All of it. I mean, it's always been a dream of mine, but when I was a junior in high school I decided I would somehow make it real. See, I've loved history for as long as I can remember, and by the time I was a junior, I had taken all the history classes I could. But! There was an AP Art History class, so I took that, (with my best friend Anysa Price, best time of my life) and absolutely fell in love with everything I saw. Unfortunately though, I could only see pictures, and as beautiful as they were, I decided I wanted to see it all for real. However, when I told my parents I wanted to backpack across Europe, they told me I'd get raped and probably die, so I have yet to leave the country.

But then, I get this phone call, and it's like fate. I get to see other parts of the world, and teach kids! What could be better right? I'm really gunning for being placed in Lithuania. I never actually had heard of Lithuania before she told me I could go there, so I've been doing some research, and it looks beautiful. I would love to go there. Plus, I would have the weekends off and vacation days where I can go wherever I want, and you better believe I'll call up Nathan Gee, the British man that stole my heart last summer, and he can show me parts of Europe. It'll be such an adventure. Of course, I'll have to save enough money and decide when I'm going to go, but I am so jazzed about this. Just thinking about it and praying about it feels so good. My dad says I should focus on school and getting my education for now, but even the prophets have said that education is not limited to just schooling. I think there's so much that I can do and learn if I were to be a part of this program. I could touch so many childeren/families' lives, as I know they would touch mine. I don't want to be afraid to take chances. I want to see the beauties that this world has to offer, things that I will be able to teach my own children about. I'm ready. "To live will be an awfully big adventure"

"I Love Love, I Love Being in Love!"

I'd like to dedicate the title of this blog to a friend of mine, Jordan Baker, who sent me this song once, many moons ago, when we were in love--http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV8KJPdFDXU (word to the wise, pay attention to the lyrics, not the video...)

Also, I had to take a break writing this because my roommate asked me to yell out the window for someone to get their dirty laundry out of the washer since I have the loudest voice. Unfortunately for her, I'm also the most obnoxious, so I yelled to the entire complex that someone needed to get their underwear out of the washer because my roommate *I will spare her the embarrassment of the entire facebook/blog world also knowing her name* needs to wash her own underwear. Apparently now war has started. Bring it on. My father was the prank master. My ward was the prank ward at Girl's Camp. I was born for this.

Ok, now I have lost interest in what I was writing before, because I feel like this war between my roommate and I is going to get good. Now she's writing on the window that I need a real man, and she left my number. Amateur.

Also, she wrote it backwards the first time. Sucker. The wheels in my head are already turning, so here I'll leave this blog. I must go plot her demise...