"Change is a Part of Life. Sometimes it's Hard, Sometimes it's Beautiful. But Most of the Time, it's Both"

I love Sundays. This one in particular was extra awesome. To finish off the already fabulous weekend I had, I got to go to my sister-in-law's brother's mission farewell today. The talks I heard today, hands down, some of the best I've ever listened to. The speakers has such a knowledge and understanding of the gospel, it blew me away. Here are these kids, 16, 19, and...however old the other girl was, that had already come to the realization that the gospel is love. The gospel is service. The gospel is the only key to true happiness. And this 19 year-old boy, who by the way is one of the most musically talented individuals I've ever met, had thrown a benefit concert to raise money to make care packages to homeless people, and donated his coat and his scarf to those who needed them more. I really wish you all could have heard his story, because I know I'm not doing it justice, but I'll tell you, it was incredible.

Then, because according to my brother, "'Utah Mormons' only go to sacrament meeting," we all headed back to the in-laws for some lunch and talking and good bye saying. My brother, his wife, and I stayed til about 9. We joked around, laughed a lot, played some games, including paper telephone and Swedish twister, and I got a battle wound. . .

See, my brother thought it would be funny to push me when I came over with my cup of water, spilling it everywhere, and I thought it was a good idea to get him back. Wrong. So wrong. Water managed to spill on various places on the floor, my brother chased me, and being so graceful, I slipped on the wet tile. I went down hard. I'm pretty sure my butt is bruised. And yes, this was in front of his in-laws, their extended family, and at least 12 other strangers. Fortunately, things like this happen to me all the time, so rarely do I get embarrassed anymore. Ain't no thing.

Anyways, I guess today, I'm really just thankful for the little things in life like getting to spend time with family. Whether blood, or those kind enough to let you into their homes and lives and love you. I'm thankful for the Sales family, and how hospitable they have always been towards me. I'm thankful for the strong testimonies they all have, even when the youngest one gets up in sacrament and bares his testimony about Jimmer. Classic. I'm thankful that Mama and Papa Sales raised Malae into the kind of woman my brother could marry, who would be such an anchor for him and who would make him so happy. I'm thankful for the kind of compassionate, caring, loving young man Nick is that is so ready and willing and excited to serve the Lord and the people of Colombia. It's always something wonderful to see young men so eager and full of life and light, ready to share that with the world. Plus, he and I are in love...sometimes;)

I'm also thankful that I could spend the weekend with Angela, Rachel, Clayton, Malae, Jacob and Levi. We've been through a lot together. These are my oldest friends. What a wonderful family I have. I'm really glad we all got to spend time together for the last time for a long time. My cousin Levi is also getting ready to serve his mission in Colombia. He leaves in a couple months. He was my very first best friend.

My oldest sister Angela is leaving for Florida tomorrow morning to do the Disney College Program for the next 8 months. I'm really going to miss her. And even though I hope she finds her future husband there, and I know she'll have so much fun, selfishly, I wish she'd come back to Utah with Rachel and the three of us could be together and be the "rock star girls" forever.

And then who knows where this crazy world is going to take the rest of us? Everything is changing so much. Life is so wonderful. I love every single moment of it.

"Baby I Swear Its Déjà Vu"

At one point or another, many of us have experienced this strange phenomenon. You know, that point in time when you're going about your day, and you get the strangest feeling of familiarity, like you've already lived this moment--commonly known as déjà vu. It's a weird incident to be sure, and I've read about it being associated to temporal lobe epilepsy, and there are theories about it being some sort of wish fulfillment, as well as the brain mistaking memories from the past with the present. However, I was discussing it with my mother one day, and we came up with our own theory. What if, before we came down to earth, we were shown what our lives could be?

For example, when you receive your patriarchal blessing, you are told that if you keep the commandments and live righteously, you will receive promises and blessings for the future. Essentially it's a blueprint of what your life could be. So, what if that's not the first time we encounter that blessing? What if the Lord already showed you what He tells you in that blessing--so when you have déjà vu, for just a second, you remember that you've seen this before. Of course, that was be assuming everyone who has ever experienced it was living the way they should be, which may or may not be true. But maybe, at that moment, they were? Just a thought.

"Sometimes it Lasts in Love, but Sometimes it Hurts Instead"

"Things are to be used, and people are to be loved. The problem with the world today, is that people are used and things are loved"

So many people today keep themselves so guarded, not letting anyone else in, pretending they don't have feelings or a heart, that way it doesn't get broken. Sure, living that way may save you a few heart breaks, but I don't understand how you would want to live your life that way. You don't fall in love like that. Heart breaks are a part of life. They are proof that you felt something, and it was real, and it taught you something. People come in and leave your life all the time, for all different reasons, the trick is finding out why. Therein is where the passion lies. It's where you grow, it's where they get the opportunity to teach you something. I always wished it took a lot for me to fall for boys, but I've come to grips that I fall pretty easy. I'm trusting, and I put my heart out there a lot, and it has always come back hurt, sometimes broken, but I know I'm on the right track to finding someone that won't ever let me cry, someone that won't let me down. Someone to love.

And why wouldn't you want to find that? I also don't understand being 24, 25, 28, and not finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I don't have a ton of dating experience, I'm only 19, but what good does it do my friends that are older that tell me they've got so many more years of dating experience than me, if they're in their mid to late 20's, and they really aren't any closer to getting married than I am? At this point in my life, I'm choosing not get married because I know I'm young and immature and I'm not quite ready for that yet, but if they are also choosing not to get married, I feel like that makes them just as immature if they aren't willing to take that step in their lives and grow up, and move on with their lives.

Life is so short, why not fall in love a time or two? I understand everyone is different, and we all get hurt, and we all have a past, but the prophets say get married. They have said to stop messing around and hanging out--they tell us time and time again to go out on dates, have relationships. Well that's what I plan on doing. I know I'm not innocent by any means, but I'm tired of kissing boys that I don't mean anything to. I'm tired of hanging out, especially with boys who don't care and don't treat me well. I'm tired of fighting for a place in people's lives that won't make a place for me. If someone wants you in their life, you will be. If someone wants to be with you, they'll make it happen. So I'll keep going out, I'll keep caring, and keep getting my heart broken, because I know I'm getting closer.

Come What May, and Love it

Of course, since it's a new year, we're all writing down our goals, making resolutions, trying to grow, become better than we were the previous year. As I was writing mine down, I realized, I haven't written down or hardly made New Year's resolutions in years. So one of my resolutions--make and fulfill some New Year's resolutions...I know.

Really though, I some of my goals are that I plan to better myself and grow as a person. I plan to have a greater knowledge and understanding of the scriptures and gospel in general. I plan to develop better, closer relationships with my friends and family, as well as make new friends. I plan on being more outgoing in all aspects of my life, especially with sharing the gospel. I want the light of Christ to shine from me in a way that people will want to know Christ by knowing me. I plan to show more service, and be more charitable. Most of all though, I plan to live my life starting now around Elder Joseph B. Worthlin's talk in the 2008 General Conference "Come What May, and Love it."

Everything happens for a reason. All experiences in life are meant to build you and help you grow. So I've realized I need to be thankful for every one of them--good or bad--and love what happens. I made a friend today that I went to church with, and he told me "if you live it, you'll love it-if you don't you won't." Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. We are meant to laugh, love, achieve, get our hearts broken, occasionally fail that we may learn how to succeed. President Hickley said "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." This is going to be a wonderful year.